Emily W., Erin, Jo and I congregated outside of Keith McNally and Nate Appleman's LES, filled with excitement and hunger.
We were pleasantly surprised when we were seated without a complete party, a rarity here. I immediately began perusing the Bloody Mary menu while the ladies debated over the pie selection.
There were not any "traditional" Bloody Mary's offered. Their signature Mary was a concoction of Mediterranean spices (whatever that means), tomato juice, vodka and sherry. There was a spicy version made with tequilla, a sweeter version featuring Grappa and balsamic vinegar and a basil gin concoction. Call me a prude, but I think that brunch is too early for tequilla or gin. Though not the most appealing sounding beverage, I opted for the signature.
As you can see, $14 buys you a shot of cocktail here. I would love to tell you that it tasted better than it sounds, but that would be a lie. It was lacking the spicy quality that I feel is key, it also was just strange. When I got to the bottom of the little horror, I found two pitiful looking kalamata olives staring back at me.
While I was musing over my beverage, the ladies had decided on our pizza selection and, at Emily's insistence, the Roasted Snap Peas and Hen of the Woods Mushrooms with fennel, parmigano, lemon and garlic pangrattato to start. The pie selection included the Bianca Tradizionale, The Porchetta and the breakfast Funghi.
The Snap Peas came out steaming and stole the show. The peas, mushrooms and fennel were roasted to perfection with ample seasoning and interest. The bread crumbs tasted like they had been sauteed in panchetta drippings, adding an amazing richness and depth of flavor to the plate. It was crisp and light and bursting with flavor and texture. This truly was the best dish of the day for us. Thank you Emily, good eye!
Again, I would love to say that the food continued to impress, but unfortunately, the first course was as good as it was going to get for us.
The first pizza to arrive was the Porchetta. In theory and description it should have been fabulous. It was billed as featuring porchetta, tomato, fennel, garlic, mozzarella and pecorino. We had visions of big meaty pieces of pork blanketed in fresh mozzarella, it arrived looking a bit sparse. Still confident that the flavors would come through to save the day, we greedily grabbed slices and dug in. The best comparison I can muster is that of a Domino's sausage pizza circa 1994, before they made their meager improvements. Emily said all she could taste was the tomato, and the other ladies simply looked sad.
To our collective relief, the Bianca arrived. The pie was generously covered with mozzarella and pecorino and black pepper, though the advertised pork strutto was no where to be seen. Again, we eagerly attacked the cheesy creation. Black pepper. That was the one and only flavor coming through. I am a black pepper fan, but I feel it shouldn't be left to carry the brunt of the entire seasoning burden. We doused it in the excellent chili oil and begrudgingly munched on it while waiting for our final dish.
My pick, the breakfast Funghi, held mushrooms, panchetta, mascarpone, and grana topped with two little fried eggs. All good things, there is no reason at all this should not have been fantastic. It was fine, simply okay. Drizzled with the chili oil and additional salt it was fairly good, especially when compared with the other two atrocities. Great, it was not.
We are good little eaters, so we continued to munch and muse. The crust was actually fantastic, very crisp and light with a chewy finish. The ingredients individually were all of good quality. Emily mentioned that after watching Nate Appleman on the Next Iron Chef, she was actually a bit relieved that it wasn't very good. She disliked the idea of being impressed by such an arrogant man. In that statement, it became clear to me the issue with the food was just that: arrogance.
These dishes did not demonstrate a respect for the ingredients, there was no care in their compilation. It seemed as though good ingredients were carelessly, arrogantly, thrown together and put in front of us as if a great favor was being bestowed upon us. The seasoning was not thoughtful, the combinations of texture and ingredient were not even a consideration. This was arrogant, mediocre food with a hefty price tag and hyped-up name attached.
After our less than satisfying meal, we decided to console ourselves with a banana pudding, peanut butter pie and red velvet cupcake from Sunshine Bakery a few blocks away. These treats did not disappoint!
In the end, I'm glad we decided to experience the McNally/Appleman venture for ourselves. Those of you who didn't make it may not have missed out on a great meal, but a good time was had by all. It is the EWI way!
In the battle of the brunch pizza, Motorino Williamsburg crushes Pulino's, and at a fraction of the price! I wonder which challenger we should try next?
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